Miss Congeniality 2

"Wanna watch a movie? Showing na ang Miss Congeniality 2 sa Gateway Mall. Nuod tayo!" I hit 'send to group' and off the message went to my friends' cellphone. A few minutes later, replies came: Sorry, next time na lang. I have prior commitments. On my way to Batangas or elsewhere, etc. I tried other friends, to no avail.

"Sige na, please! Kahit Pacifier, Robots, Hitch uli or Passion of Christ, basta big screen. Gusto mo, libre pa kita, samahan mo lang ako." I pleaded with a close friend but apparently, she can't be bribed.

And so I'm left with me, myself and I. A bit disappointed with the 100% turndowns, I consoled myself with Bejeweled 2.

"Hay! Uwi na lang nga ako at manuod ng Fullhouse!" I thought to myself. And with a heavy heart, I started clearing my messy work area.

I was already warming to the idea of watching Justin and Jessie's love unfolding while eating popcorn at home, when my officemate asked me to watch Miss Congeniality with her at Robinsons Galleria. It came out of the blue, but hey! Why pass it up?

I was instantly energized! Not only because I like Sandra Bullock and the movie, but it was also a much needed, well-deserved break for me. And after being rejected several times in just one day, who wouldn't be excited at the sudden turn of events?

An hour later, sitting on the cushioned seat of Cinema 3, downing a can of Royal Tru Orange, I was laughing at Gracie Hart's snort. How unwomanly, yet funny!

Fast forward a bit and you see a brokenhearted Gracie, alone in her apartment, watching the candle melt, drinking beer, and contemplating on why she got dumped by her boyfriend. A tear fell from my eye.

I immediately wiped it off and told myself 'Riz! Ano ka ba?! Comedy 'yang pinapanuod mo!' But I can't help it! Not that I got dumped by a man, but I relate to her having to contend with loneliness.

Sure I am almost always never alone. I spend 60% of my time with other people; at work, in a public utility vehicle, with family and friends, etc. The other 40% is reserved for devotions and sleep.

Even my well-meaning friends would say: There is God! You are never alone for He has promised never would He leave nor forsake you. He is everywhere anyhow, so why feel lonely?

I do not contest what they say for I believe in it myself. The love of God brings me comfort ALL THE TIME. His presence means the world to me. And He's the only one who accompanies me in my sometimes self-imposed solitary confinement.

Solitude is not at all bad. In fact, I look forward to it once in awhile. Most especially if I just want peace, quiet and time for myself, away from the hustle and bustle of the world. I don't have to go up a mountain to have it for I live on one already! Sometimes, all it takes is a locked room with a 'DO NOT DISTURB!' sign posted on the door.

But I'm not talking about those moments. As Gracie sat on the corner of her bed and settled for a box of chocolates, I wondered will my life be like hers?

Consumed with career, no time for relationships, going home to a defective microwave oven, watching a candle flame flicker, reflecting on my purpose in life and what I want to do, and wondering if other single people are doing the exact same thing. Pathetic, but likely.

This made me realize how poorly I pray for and work at my relationships. Yes, the bond is there, but what do you make of such situations?

Going out is the most logical thing to do, right? If only my friends are not so busy...Next time, I'll ask for an appointment.

'Okay! Forget the movie! Let's just talk. Starbucks? Mc Do? Anywhere, as long as we can talk.' And even with that proposal, I am oftentimes rejected as well. Sigh. Me, myself and I.

And so I've learned to cope with busyness: Make myself busy as well! Or I'll just cry my heart out of self-pity.

The big screen caught my attention again. A determined Gracie tells Sam why they need to find and rescue Cheryl and Stan: Friends are rare for me! I fought back a tear. Kainis naman!! This is supposedly a comedy!

As I reflect on that statement, I find it to be true in my life. I won't elaborate on it anymore as it cuts to the heart and I'm getting teary-eyed again. Sniff, sniff. Acquaintances are not necessarily friends, that much I know. Fortunately, I have JESUS.

I have called you friends for everything that I learned from my Father, I have made known to you. You did not choose me, I chose you... (John 15:15-16)

When thoughts of sulking in misery due to loneliness tempts me, I remember Gracie's smiling face. 'There's always me,' she said to Sam - who longs for friendships but have none because of her anger management problems. She echoes the words of my Best Friend, JESUS.

I may have all the time to me, myself and I but at least my life makes sense because of Him. And if all other friends fails me, I can always run to Him.

To JESUS, who takes me as I am, patiently listens to me, keeps me company in both good and bad times, corrects and rebukes me, or just simply be with me. What more can I ask for?

By the time the credits are rolled out, I felt better already. I left the cinema not only relieved from stress, but enlightened, comforted and grateful for my relationship with JESUS as well.

And as I waited for a bus to Cubao, a familiar face greeted me. After greeting her back and telling her where I've been, it didn't take her very long to tell me who else were watching Miss Congeniality at Robinsons Galleria. It turned out some of the VCF-QC singles also wanted a sneak preview. Pagkatapos kong mag-drama! GRRRRR!!!